I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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