That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
