He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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