My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
