just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
