It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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