Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
