Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
