2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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