Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
