That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
