It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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