think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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