is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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