Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
