You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
