it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
foreskin is a definite game changer
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
