Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
