Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
