then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
