hotel room ftw
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
