You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
