honey bunches of taint.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
