Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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