nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
be right there i have to get my cape
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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