pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
