Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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