I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
