He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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