Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
