if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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