Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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