Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
