i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
