im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
