OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
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It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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