you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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