Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
