You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
