i think i have two assholes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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