ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
