All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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