my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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