i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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