So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
