Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
