No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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