yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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