high people should be assigned attendants
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
