I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
