just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
