Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize