i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
