Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
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