He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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