We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
