think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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