The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
