12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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