so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
