We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
