why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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