yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can text with my tongue
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
its not stalking. its research.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
