I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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