Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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