What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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