Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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