all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
