you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
